Monday, February 20, 2017

The Great Potty Training Adventure!





I have read a lot of blogs on the  brilliant topic of getting the small ones out of nappies, and after sharing some ideas we used for both our boys with friends recently, we were delighted to hear our tips worked just as well for them. So why not share them with the readers of my Blog?

Now, I don't profess to being any kind of potty training guru in the slightest but, a few years ago (how time flies) it was time to tackle the subject head on...The huge expense of having both boys in pampers (25 CHF a pack out here) was becoming ridiculous, we seemed to spend as much on nappies as gas for the car and furthermore changing nappies was, of course, not my favourite way to spend a significant chunk of my day..

We had tried some time before during a previous hot summer with the trusty potty but, BIG absolutely hated the thing, he'd rather go on the floor than sit on the bloody pot!

Then, one day,  Nana sent over a great book from England "Pirate Pete's Potty" All about a little kid getting used to doing wees and poos on his potty and not in his nappy. (I believe there is a girls version too.) The book has a charming little story with some lovely illustrations and a little button that rewards a good result on the pot with an enthusiastic cheer! The book worked well with BIG as he loves stories and it at least made him want to have a go at the task in hand, if only just so he could get a cheer by pressing the little button. Unfortunately BIG still hated the pot and despite a few weeks of almost getting there, BIG would rather go in the nappy...  He knew exactly what he was supposed to be doing and even insisted on pressing the little cheer button each time he did something in the nappy.....Thanks to Pirate Pete we were almost there but, ultimately I had to go back to the drawing board...






Later that year I was away with the band in France for a few days, staying with the bassist and his young family one night we were sharing stories on toilet training (maximum Rock n Roll)  His wife said "Oh you must try the little toilet steps, the girls hated the potty so, we found these and they started using the toilet immediately" Off we all went upstairs to the bathroom there sat a little set of robust and colourful plastic steps that sat on the existing toilet seat, brilliantly allowing little ones to safely climb up and use the toilet, there were even a couple of handles for them to cling on to....bloody brilliant!!!





I ordered said Toilet Step from eBay and we eagerly awaited their arrival, in between times I came up with the idea of an award chart...Our boys are very competitive and love a little challenge...


The idea is the child get awarded a sticker for each wee or poo they do on the toilet / potty and after several successful attempts they get a small prize... for BIG and later on Small,  this was a ChupaChups lolly....when the ultimate goal of being nappy free was reached, the Grand Prize was a much prized Star Wars Lego set. I set a target of one month to be free of the Pampers forever....






And so the steps arrived, the Pampers were ditched and replaced with "Pull up's" and the chart was duly put into action, BIG was super keen to impress and despite a couple of small accidents, he was going great guns in the first week, there were a few times he just was so engrossed in whatever he was doing he couldn't make the bathroom in time, the Pull Up's were a bit of a godsend there...

BIG absolutely loved the steps and felt like a proper big boy by using the toilet, he also loved sticking the stickers on his chart and was able to see his own progress..the surprising side effect was that small, who at this stage was still a little too small to potty train, also wanted to sit on the toilet steps, and did so often whilst still wearing his nappy, it got him into the habit early simply by watching his older brother...


Anyway, after 17 days of stickers and prizes, BIG was out of nappies for good and 6 months later we did the same with small. The plastic steps allowing them to use the grown up toilet, coupled with the excitement of a sticker chart and the prize incentive, certainly provided our two hooligans with the required amount of enthusiasm to make a sometimes painful and thankless task, relatively simple.

Finally we were nappy free, my early morning super sensitive nose was extremely thankful, I seemed to have much more time on my hands and we had saved a significant chunk of cash to boot!

So to all parents out there doing the whole potty training thing, stick with it...there is a light at the end of the tunnel, honest.  Your nose and your bank balance will thank you in the end, just find a suitable form of inspiration for your little ones and you'll be nappy free in no time!






Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Cooking Up A Storm for Valentines Day





 BEEF WELLY



I’m no Jamie Oliver but have always enjoyed getting stuck in and creating stuff in the kitchen. My dishes, whilst not always pretty to look at, usually taste pretty good….so I’m told.

As it was Valentines Day yesterday and I was at home on kids duty, I thought i’d whip something up for Mrs S to enjoy when she came home from a hard day at work. And so, after dropping the boys at school in the car (not my ususal practice) I hit the supermarket and purchased:


Beef Fillett
Garlic
3x Shallotts
Fresh Rosemary
2 x Chillis
Parma Ham
Puff Pastry
Asparagus
New Potatoes





This is the basic shopping list for my Beef Welly, loosely based on a beef wellington but minus the mushroom and chestnut bit which neither of us really like..substituted with something that has a bit more kick!

So let’s get stuck in…



Heat oven to 200 and season & splash beef with some olive oil, then roast in a tray for 15 mins untill medium-rare, when it’s done stick it in the fridge to cool for 20 mins. 
Cover with foil so the meat sucks back up the juices.




Whilst it’s cooling down, prepare your chilli / garlic / shalllots….this is usualy the mushrooms and chestnut bit but this is a little spicier alternative that I came up with.



Peel and prep 3 shallots, 2 chills (if you want it spicy), a couple of chunks of Garlic depending on your taste and some fresh rosemary and blitz the lot in a processor 
until well chopped like bread crumbs.



Lay out 2 large bits of cling film and spread out your parma ham slices to suit so they overlap a bit.

 

Cover the ham in a thin layer of your chilli & shallott mix then place the cooled beef in the centre. 

 

Use the remaining shallots mix to cover the meat and using the cling film, draw the ham around the fillett and roll into a sausage shape. 
 

Twist the ends of the cling film to hold it in place..stick it in the fridge whilst you prep the pastry.


You can make your own pastry but with limited time before the hooligans came home, I opted for some pre-prepared Puff pastry…

Cut a nice slab of pastry for the base and stick it on a baking sheet, brush the edges with an egg wash and take the beef from the fridge, pop it in the middle of the pastry after carefully unwrapping it.




 

Lay another slab of pastry over the meat coating the edges of the pastry in an egg wash and gently fold it all up into a parcel, being careful to not pierce the pastry.




Coat the whole thing in a bit of egg wash and slap it in the oven 



Cook at 200c for 25 to 30 mins depending on your wish for medium or well done.




I served mine in thick slices with some gravy, oven roasted new potatoes 
and bacon wrapped asparagus.

Lovely job, very tasty and a very happy wife!




Brilliant Butties







The Butty is a wonderful thing, a very English thing...

According to Wikipedia, Butty may refer to:

Sandwich, a food made with two pieces of bread encompassing a filling.
Northern England colloquialism. A buttered (normally white sliced bread or bun) sandwich. Most commonly used for bacon sandwiches (bacon butties) or chip sandwiches (chip butties).

Why am I writing about it?

Well as an Englishman abroad, my family and workmates are often staggered at the breadth of fillings with which one may choose  to construct a Butty. It is the ultimate, all purpose snack food.

It seems that outside of ol' Blighty the Butty really has limited appeal, the people of my adopted homeland mainly seem to look at me and shake their head when they witness the construction of a butty. Personally I can't see what all the fuss is about...

Just last night my good lady wife looked on in despair as I painstakingly built a fantastic Spag Bol Butty for my tea. And it seems no-one in Switzerland gets the chip butty at all, especially when it's accompanied by a large chunk of cheddar cheese (Really not the done thing over here but, I can't give up my Cheddar!!)

I do however have a cunning plan ... I recently, covertly introduced the crisp butty to tea time...Filling up a soft "Wegli" roll with Walkers crisps was an instant hit with BIG and Small. 

I have started a quiet Butty revolution and need only sit back and watch it grow, as long as Mrs S doesn't find out, i'll be fine!


Monday, February 13, 2017

The Psycho Parent From Hell










..It's Monday and I'm still in the midst of that early morning fog of having transitioned from 4 days of life as a musician to that of early morning Dad on the school run...

What is crystal clear however, is my anger over an incident that happened to small at the end of last week whilst I was away with the band...

My brilliant wife was starting her bit of the week with the hooligans and had done all of the things we have to do in order to get them out of the house for 7:55am. That part of the day in the bag, she settled down for some office work at home, some home schooling for BIG who has been off school for a week with a chest infection and prepared the lunch for small  (In Switzerland kids come home for lunch everyday) At around 12:20 Small literally fell through the front door in a terrible state, screaming, shaking, crying and holding his eye...

After around 15 minutes of trying to calm him down and find out what the hell had gone wrong, a rather disturbing story came to light...

On the way home from school, small and his little group of mates had been kicking a football around, another group of kids joined in and a little scuffle broke out between a couple of them, resulting in one little lad getting punched...

The little fight broke up and the two groups of 6 year olds carried on walking home, at this point a lady, parent of the boy who had been punched, appeared from her house and started chasing the group of boys including small, down towards the busy main road through our village, screaming and shouting as she ran after them...Of course they ran as fast as their little legs could carry them...

2 of smalls mates short off down the farm track to where they lived leaving small high tailing it down the main road...The very angry lady eventually caught up with small and grabbed him by the hood and rucksack and started shouting in his face

"If you ever touch my son again, I will punch you!"

In her anger it would appear that she also poked him in the eye whilst shouting in his face, then, letting go of him, he fell over and sat on the street shaking, in floods of tears as she walked back to her house......

My wife phoned me in the studio to recount the story and ask what she should do....I could hear the absolute distress from small in the background and it was difficult to keep my composure as she recounted this most absurd event.

My initial reactions were:

1. Call the school and tell them what happened.
2. Call the Police and report the incident.
3. Find out if any of the other boys saw what happened
4. Take a picture of Small's eye showing the red mark from a finger.


After many calls here and there, my wife was able to piece together the story from some parents, as recounted above..She decided to take small back to school and confront the very angry lady on her way. After making sure he was safely back in school Mrs S came across the angry lady and confronted her with a "what the hell were you thinking laying hands on my child?" The angry lady started crying and admitted she had chased and attacked the wrong boy, as her son had in fact been hit by someone else. In her anger she saw a group of boys running away and assumed it must be them and so gave chase...

She was extremely apologetic and after venting her fury in return, my wife went home to stew a bit and call me.... I was still steaming with anger and couldn't understand why she hadn't yet reported it to the school and Police...

Mrs S decided to go to the school and seek with smalls class tutor who was extremely supportive and understanding and offered to help in any way she could....The very angry lady  was waiting for my wife and small at the end of school with an apology, a box of chocolates and more tears..

Small was having none of it and having graciously and reluctantly accepted an apology, walked off home leaving my wife feeling rather awkward standing talking with a crying, remorseful very angry lady, as a bunch of other parents filed past...

A few days on and small, aside from a red mark under his eye, has shown no after effects of the incident, he has just bounced back to his usual noisey, boisterous self...

I however, can't seem to let this go...

Why would you as a parent, lay hands on another child without a full picture of what has happened? Why would you terrify a little kid and then leave them crying in the street? Why would you not confront the parents of a child you suspected of bullying your child, to find out exactly what happened?

I am still enraged about what small endured at the hands of the very angry lady and despite an apology from her to my wife and son, I am worried about just what I will say when I see this lady or her husband at some point this week on the school run....

I can't help but feel it should have been reported to the Police..I don't care that I've been told by half of the village that they are a really nice family...she assaulted my kid for fuck's sake!!!!

Am I over reacting?, should I just accept the apology and move on as my son clearly is...

I just don't know.....grrrrrrrrr





Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Big Boys Toys

My other job, the one which doesn't involve trying to get felt tip off the sofa, chocolate out of the rug, dog poo off the stairs or rebuild broken Lego sets and cook sausages, sees me playing drums for a band, sometimes I get time off from both jobs for a bit of "Dad Time"

One such recent opportunity for "Dad Time" was the adult equivalent of being let loose in the toy shop with an unlimited budget. Thanks to a fan of the band I work in, I was invited to an exclusive British Sports Car taster day in the Alpine town of Interlaken, Switzerland.

Being nothing short of a massive petrol head I was completely over-excited at a project of hooning around in some great motors in the Alps, so I polished my shoes, put on a nice pair of jeans, a shirt without raspberry jam on it and made my way to Interlaken.

I was met in the lobby of the Grand Hotel with a lovely breakfast buffet and got chatting to some of the other guests in the holding area, some were there to buy, some were there to try and some had no idea why they were there at all..whilst nosing around trying to find the Gents, I happened to go through a door into the courtyard where I was greeted by a fabulous sight....

1. McLaren 650s
2.Bentley Continental GT Cabrio
3.Bentley Flying Spur
4.Rolls Royce Ghost
5.Rolls Royce Wraith

These were the fabulous creations I had come to drool over, drive, and enjoy...  As luck would have it I seemed to be in the right place at the right time, and was invited over to have a look around the fantasy garage, I started with something very subtle..



McLaren 650S
This amazing machine looks like it's doing 200mph when it's sat still, understated it is not and in the company of the other cars on offer, looked like a cartoon style superhero! I was invited into the cockpit with a warning to "Watch your head, Sir" as I unceremoniously fell in, past the doors, ass first over the deep sill into the carbon fibre tub, coming to rest in the very snug drivers seat. The cockpit is small but comfortable and beautifully upholstered in alacantra and leather with complementing orange stitching. There are a handful of control buttons on the carbon centre console along with a small screen and iPod style navigation wheel and directly ahead a single dial on the digital display dashboard. It's got all the mod cons with Wi-Fi, Bluetooth, Air-con, DAB Radio but, alas, no space for child seats :) 



I was joined in the cockpit with my guide (Ralph) who was there to make sure I could operate the machine and keep an eye on me to ensure I didn't get into all sorts of speed related trouble and wreck his very expensive car. He explained all the controls and paddle shift gear box and then invited me to press the big START button...I did just that and was rewarded with a symphony of twin turbo V8 exploding into life just behind my head... it made me do this...


After being told we'd start with all of the driver aids switched on, Ralph told me to pull back on the right hand gear paddle and we slowly moved off..my heart in my mouth. Interlaken is a super touristy place and the picture book Swiss style buildings with a backdrop of the snow topped Eiger was no match for a bright orange McLaren making a sedate but noisy path out onto the main promenade..I felt like an A-list celeb as literally hundreds of tourists started taking pictures of the car as we drove out of the town toward the autobahn. Despite having the power of a planet, the 650s was really easy to drive at low speed through the small town roads, the steering light and pedals responsive to the slightest touch. As we headed down the ramp onto the autobahn, Ralph checked over his shoulder pressed a couple of buttons on the console and instructed me to change down 2 gears and give it the beans..

I did just that and the world exploded into a cacophony of noise and blurred vision as the McLaren suddenly turned from a sedate but noisy, town friendly sports car into a cross between a Saturn 5 rocket, Concorde and a heard of angry dragons..Utterly overwhelming, in seconds I was suddenly travelling at waaaaaay over the speed limit... 

After calming down a bit, enjoying the drive, the power and the spectacle of the thing we exited the autobahn onto a small straight road where Ralph instructed me on the Launch Control function.. 
Press this, Turn that, Set the revs here and then let your foot off the brake....

Booom, once again the Saturn 5 rocket was hurling us down the road at a furious pace..Now stamp hard on the brakes, came the instruction...I obliged and was rewarded with a sensation akin to someone trying to simultaneously pull my face off and suck the internal organs out of my body... in a fraction of the time it took for us to reach ridiculous speeds, we were at a stand still and the only thing I could muster was a very eloquent..... Fuck Me!


Right, let's try the magic carpet ride next, suggested Ralph..The Rolls Royce Ghost



The Rolls is nothing short of enormous, everything about it is just huge, the radiator grille, the bonnet (The Hood for my US readers) the doors and of course the price tag! You do get an awful lot of motor car for your money. This beautiful example was finished in a deep midnight, metallic black lacquer with a complementing silver metallic bonnet (Hood) the picture does absolutely no justice to the beauty and finish of this vehicle. Climbing into the incredible interior is an elegant affair, none of the embarrassing drama of the McLaren, one simply climbs in through the power assisted doors and sits in what can only be described as the most comfortable armchair ever. It really is like the most exquisite lounge room on wheels.  Once the door has gently closed itself, you are cocooned from the outside world in an almost silent and very comfortable atmosphere. 

Right, lets go! said Ralph..
OK, how do I start it? 
Its already running... he replied. 
I couldn't even hear let alone feel that the huge engine was on, there was no indication on the dashboard, there was a just a large speedometer and a large power gauge and a temperature gauge. 
I put it in drive, gently pressed the accelerator and we glided from a standstill, effortlessly out onto the road.

Despite it's size the Ghost was just amazing to drive, you hear nothing, you feel nothing you just breeze along at what ever speed you desire.... fast, slow, left , right...it's literally like you are flying on a magic carpet, it responds to the slightest touch with no drama and no fuss...it just wafts. The lack of usual sensations you experience in a normal vehicle are, at first, a little alarming but I soon got used to it and just enjoyed the experience....The only time I actually heard the massive Twin Turbo V12 was when I put my foot to the floor and saw the power dial shoot right up, there was a slight rumbling noise as the huge car literally surged forwards with frightening pace--The Rolls Royce Ghost can only be described as a unique and very special experience...intoxicating!


Next up, I channeled my inner Premiership footballer and mounted the mighty Bentley Continental GT Cabriolet. Ralph was happy for me to take this trip solo and so the first thing I did was put the roof down..it's a little rule of mine, I mean why buy a cabrio and ride around with the roof up?



It's a cracking car this, big yes but not planet sized like the two Rolls', plenty of room for the boys and Mrs S and I swear the boot is big enough to get most things in. It looks great, it sounds great and it's fantastic to drive...I wouldn't really fancy parking it in the underground supermarket car park on shopping day and I can't say Mrs S would be too happy about that either but at least we'd get everything in..A brilliant drivers car, a real sports GT and a proper show offs car :)


Honorable mentions for the Bentley Flying Spur, a lovely machine for real drivers without the spectacle of the Rolls Ghost, understated but a bit "Old Man" for me...


...and the Rolls Royce Wraith, beautiful but my least favourite vehicle in the pack, just seemed a little bit pointless, a massive 2 door sports car for people who don't want the sensation of driving a sports car..or for people who just want to show off...Perfect for your footballing types.


After tooling around in these incredible machines I was gifted some really beautiful coffee table books on the three marques as a souvenir of my day and headed home in my muddy Volvo XC60, not sporty, not fast but perfect for carrying drums, going skiing, mountain biking, going to the DIY store and hauling my little family around.







 I made a good choice in my trusty Volvo but, if I had too, and if I had the means...the McLaren and the Ghost would be on my shopping list.....and the Bentley GT for summer alpine cruising....

Yeah right...dream on Pa, what's for tea?




Special thanks to Schmol AG Zurich









Monday, February 6, 2017

The Naughty Ninja!


The Naughty Ninja!


BIG & Small have acquired a massive obsession with all things Ninja..




This is mainly down to the brilliant Ninjago series of toys, games, DVDs and the like from LEGO and also due to them having some Wing-Tschun Ju-Jitsu self defence classes after a spate of rather nasty bullying at school ( more about that another time...)


Anyway, on a recent trip to the SwissToy Expo in Bern, the boys fell in love with a rather cheap Ninja costume. A plastic bag containing a little smock, Ninja face mask, plastic swords, throwing stars and nunchucks. Mrs S and I decided that as they had been extremely well behaved on our jaunt around thousands of toy exhibitors, without making any demands or throwing any tantrums, we would indulge them in their little wish.

The two matching costumes were duly purchased and quickly put on, just as soon as they could get through the front door upon our return home.

All well and good until one particularly vicious breakfast time Ninja battle which saw BIG, snap his plastic sword on small's head and small then retaliating with a swift plastic nunchuck to BIG's head, resulting in non-recoverable damage to both toys....

There were tears of pain and tears of sadness as they realised their most prized toys were broken,  then tears from the reprimand they received for getting way out of hand!

After a couple of days, I could no longer stand the misery of them wandering around in their Ninja costumes with no weaponry, and decided I had to do something to bring the smile
back to their little faces.

I hatched a plan and made a trip to the local DIY store and collected the following assortment .

3x lengths of foam pipe insulation
3x lengths of wooden dowel
1 x packet of wooden discs
1x roll of Gold foil
1xroll of Silver foil
2 large sheets of thick card
50cms of bath plug chain
1x roll Red Ribbon
2x Rolls Gaffa Tape





when the boys came home from Kindergarten we had a great afternoon building...


The Virtually Indestructible (Safe Play) Ninja Collection



The Sword 

1. Cut the lengths of dowel to 60cms

2. Trim length of pipe insulation to 50cms

3. Slide dowel into pipe insulation and fix with tape, leave at least 15cms dowel sticking out for a handle and be sure that you have at least 5cms of just foam at the tip of your sword. Squash the excess foam together into a point and secure with tape.

4. Drill a hole in the centre of 2x wooden discs so they can slide onto the dowel handle.

5. Slide one disc up to meet the end of the foam blade and fix with tape

6. fix the other disc to the very end of the dowel with glue and cover with tape.

7. Wrap the foam blade in silver or gold foil then cover with clear sellotape.

8. Wrap the dowel handle with tape and build up a thick handle. 

9. Wrap the tape grip you just made with red ribbon and fasten top and bottom with tape. .



The Nunchucks

1. Cut 2x20cm lengths of pipe insulation

2. Fasten 2 foam elements inside with 25cms bath chain, leaving 5-6cms between each foam element, fix well with tape.

3. Cover Foam elements in Tape/Ribbon stripes for decoration.



Throwing Stars

1. Cut out some star shapes from thick card

2. Trim or round off sharp points

3. Cover star shapes with gold or silver foil

4. Secure and cover with clear sellotape


The soft foam swords and nunchucks have provided literally months of intense and safe Ninja battles, so much so, that I had to build one for myself to mount some form of defence!



LET THE BATTLE COMMENCE!









The BEST alarm clock you will ever buy!



Mami, Papa, is it morning yet?

The regular morning call in our house that arrives anywhere between 3.30am and 5:00am, 
which is inevitably followed by...

Is it dark?

Yes.

Then go back to sleep...

5mins later.....Mami, Papa, is it morning yet?

Can you hear anyone else?

No...

Then please, go back to sleep...

5mins later.....Mami, Papa, is it morning yet?


Oh FFS!!!! Is anyone in the house walking around?

No...

Then before I go nuts, please...GO. TO. SLEEP....!!!!!


10mins later.....Mami, Papa, is it morning yet?


..........Oh F*** it, lets just get up!


Small has never been a great at night, even as a tiny baby he was an extremely light sleeper, the slightest thing would wake him, when he grew out of that phase we had a few months of better nights and hoped that was that.. 

Then, having a pretty wild and creative imagination he went through the whole "monsters in the room" thing, so I devised some tricks to help him through that little period
( See my blog "Banish Monsters Under the Bed, Forever"

After about 5 years of trying every trick in the book Small got into a routine and started sleeping from 7pm until around 6am..pretty much perfect for our busy life in Switzerland where everything seems to start early..
The whole getting up thing is not good for me, I'm very much the night owl but.. I have slowly adjusted my "Never get up before 10" Musician lifestyle to a more acceptable Swiss style routine...made all the more painful when I must be out very late at a show following a very early morning with the boys...

Recently both BIG and Small have started to want to get up super early again, fine within reason on a school day but, we'd like at least one day of the week where we can get up after 6am if possible...

We started looking for kids clocks that would help them stay in bed just a little bit longer and did the whole telling the time thing..But, the boys would often get confused with second hand and the hour hand etc and just end up asking ... Is it 6 o'clock now?  Back to the drawing board then!!

A few weeks ago, a tip off from a friend who was suffering a similar fate, drew our attention to the fantastic CLASSENS  "Kid Sleep" Alarm Clock

An analogue and digital clock featuring a night light which can be set to illuminate a little cartoon at Bed Time which changes at Getting Up Time...



CLASSENS Kid Sleep


This genius little device makes it so easy for the hooligans to understand "Time" 
At night the little sleeping boy is illuminated and then at 06:30
(or a time of your choice) the little boy playing football illuminates. 

Literally overnight, the questions stopped and we got a lay in until the footballing character unleashes our boys for the day ahead...perfect!

You can find boys and girls versions in a variety of styles here: